sigh...

Will I ever stop feeling this way? How is it I feel anyways? Is this just a fantasy I am creating in my idealistic mind? Or are these feelings real? Honest? Truthful? Genuine? I want to tell you, what I have for you is unlike anything I ever had for anyone. For 3 years now. And they still haven't gone away. Sure, I'll date other guys but no one has been there for me like you. I can't think of anyone whose company I enjoy more than yours. I miss you more than you'll ever know. Your blue eyes will always make me swoon, and make me feel weak in the knees. You're one of my absolute best friends. You have a girl friend, so I think this is silly. I feel like I should tell you, but it's scary. I don't know if you feel this way and I don't want anything ever to compromise our friendship. Because, that means the world and beyond to me. Maybe one day I'll suck it up and tell you. But only if it's real and it's right.

I don't want to miss out on what could have been. I guess there is only one way to know and that is to tell you. I don't know if I can. I hate this, you're a state away. And I wonder if you think of me as often as I think of you. I know you miss me, a lot. You're picking me up from the airport in 3 weeks and I am beyond thrilled. I haven't looked forward to seeing someone this much, in who knows how long. And with our matching limps, I think we're each others right legs. Also, we're walking down the aisle together. I guess in the end, my love for you is so great that patiently I will wait. If nothing ever happens, I just hope another love will come along. Michael Gavillot you light up life and you're not even here.

I can't wait to see you.