So the year 2008 is coming to close. Another chapter is finished and new unpredictable exciting new chapter is about to begin. 2009. 2008 was a year for spiritual growth and to learn from experience. A lot of things happened. It was a year of breaks. My heart broke as well as my ankle (which shattered). Looking back, heart break seemed like nothing compared to my ankle. My heart healed quickly and without any physical pain. Unlike my ankle which still (8 months later) still hurts and will not heal fully for a year. I think it is a good thing though I am more dependent on myself then another person. Heart break illustrates my dependency on someone else for happiness.
However, my ankle as a normal working body part enables me to be fully independent. When I was first injured for about a month or two I was not able to take care of myself. I had to be dependent on other people. People to feed me, help me shower, wheel me, you name it, I needed help. It was hard to let them help me. Unfortunately, I had no choice. But I learned to let them and value my independence and working body parts even more. I also learned to be completely fully happy with myself for the first time. Here I was facing what some may view as a devastating injury but I tried to view it as an opportunity for growth. And grown I have. I believe and significantly. I have been more focused, more present, and have the ability to be happy even in a grim situation. To truly find the sliver lining.
Some memorable events of 2008:
January: Break up with Pat
March: Green Chili Fest (Leahy, aunt Diane), Spring Break at Joshua Tree National Park = incredible
April: Shattering of the ankle
July: Potlatch
August: Durango Hat
October: Tequila Sunrise, Hash Run
November: Birthday in California, T-day with Rosi and family
To conclude 2008 was a year with many falls and getting on my feet again but I have done it. I am certainly on my feet again and hope to stay that way. I will close this chapter of my life but will never forget it. Not for a second. So here's to 2008 for teaching how to live more fully. And here's to 2009 and may it bring new opportunities, a bit of luck, love, prosperity, growth, and continuous improvement in all areas of my life.
Cheers.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Let it shine out
I am feeling good today, no make that great. I am full of energy and feel warm inside. Why, do you ask? Well, I wish I could give you an exact answer. But I am afraid I cannot. I am home in Denver now and just am enjoying this time to myself and with my family. Both of which happen only a few times a year. Typically, I am surrounded by the constant chatter and chaos of others. Which I am stimulated by and thrive off. But every now and again I need solely Megan time. Time to relax, breath, think, and do what I want. Time for me made by me. Ya today I have a whole agenda of things to do around the town exploring. And in a few weeks my family is going to the mountain to go skiing and I cannot downhill ski with anyone because of my ankle. But I am not complaining, I am instead to try my luck at xc skiing and snow shoeing. I am excited for the challenge and the peace. I haven't really done anything outside since my injury (except for camping once). I'll tell ya I am getting cabin fever. I think this will be the prefect solution. Skiing by myself in the snowy white wilderness. I get the chills thinking about the peace it can bring. This is a rambling post I can see but so is my mind.
This is glorious. This positive energy boiling up within me cannot be held so tightly because it will burst. So I will let I will radiate this energy with others and hope they feel it as well. It's the least I can do!
This is glorious. This positive energy boiling up within me cannot be held so tightly because it will burst. So I will let I will radiate this energy with others and hope they feel it as well. It's the least I can do!
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
A letter: to you
Dear love,
You're eyes are as vast and unknown as the ocean. As blue as the color of sky. You're one of my closest friends and I hold you close to my heart. Perhaps too close. I have loved you for sometime now. But I myself cannot bring myself to admit it, at least not aloud. You have a girl friend, we have a past, and we have an emotional bond that seems to last. Sometimes, I wonder what would happen if I just confessed. Confessed that I am in love. Completely, hopelessly in love with you. And yet it is the last thing I want to do. I know that your girlfriend recently cheated on you. I wish you would know this so you could end this terrible relationship your in. You don't need to be with me. I just want you to be with someone whose good for you and makes you genuinely happy. Now, of course I want that person to be me. But I know that is not quite how things work. So I don't know what and can't seem to find the right words to say. You know I love, I just don't think you know how much. Maybe one day I'll tell. Not today, not right now. But tomorrow will be here soon and who knows what it will hold. For now: I love you, I love you, I love you. At least on paper I do.
With all my heart,
Me*
You're eyes are as vast and unknown as the ocean. As blue as the color of sky. You're one of my closest friends and I hold you close to my heart. Perhaps too close. I have loved you for sometime now. But I myself cannot bring myself to admit it, at least not aloud. You have a girl friend, we have a past, and we have an emotional bond that seems to last. Sometimes, I wonder what would happen if I just confessed. Confessed that I am in love. Completely, hopelessly in love with you. And yet it is the last thing I want to do. I know that your girlfriend recently cheated on you. I wish you would know this so you could end this terrible relationship your in. You don't need to be with me. I just want you to be with someone whose good for you and makes you genuinely happy. Now, of course I want that person to be me. But I know that is not quite how things work. So I don't know what and can't seem to find the right words to say. You know I love, I just don't think you know how much. Maybe one day I'll tell. Not today, not right now. But tomorrow will be here soon and who knows what it will hold. For now: I love you, I love you, I love you. At least on paper I do.
With all my heart,
Me*
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