Lovin it...

Summer is more than a month in and it's flying by. I am currently working at Camp Jackson in the hills of Southern Colorado. I have a smile that cannot be wiped off my face. I think it might be glued on. However, that is what frightens me. This overwhelming feeling of glee and giddiness I feel. Things are going well in most all respects of life. I am working at a place I love in the mountains with great friends and even a potential love interest. I am allowing myself to feel vulnerable again and be giddy even. It terrifies and completely excites me all at once. The other evening when were sitting across from each other at the campfire I kept catching your gaze, catch a quick grin, and quickly avert my eyes. Inside I was tingling with glee. The night we walked with our hands linked and laughing as children and sloppy awkward kisses on the grass, sigh. When we kiss and you break in to a smile I cannot help but laugh myself. I don't know when I smiled this much last. And this freaks me out to be honest, in my mind I am not supposed to happy for longer than a few months. I know this is illogical and untrue but for the past few years whenever I feel happy something unthinkable happens. My mom, Austin, my ankle. That is part of the reason I don't allow myself to fall for someone or count on exciting things. But this time I am going to be brave and give it my all. Because what else can I lose? From experience I know nothing can get me down. Sure I fall but I certainly always get up. There is a great wide world and I am going to experience all it has to offer me. Hazaah!